Final Cut : Continued Thoughts through Poetry
A Shirley Holmes Fan Poem

by JenJen
August 17,2000        

As I Lay Me Down To Sleep...
As I lay me down to sleep,
horrible, heart breaking thoughts invade my head,
my eyes water and I can't help but weep

As I attempt to rest and drown my pain,
I finally realize that I can no longer fight it,
so I cry, I ve nothing to lose, nothing to gain.

As I lay here in my bed,
my mind continues to decipher the whys,
and all the "becauses" that were said.

As I look around my room I replay my fathers' voice,
"We are leaving for England at the end of the week", departure was his

Had it not been for the recent trouble,
my life wouldn't be unraveling so quickly,
like rocks to rubble

As I picture my life far away,
I find it oh so hard to imagine my life without being able to see him every
"Him" being my best friend-a guy whom I love with all my heart and soul
The thought of losing him formulates a deep dark dent in me, that will end
up consuming me whole.

I remember the day we met,
who knew something so wonderful would form in such a unfortunate set?

As I continuously open and close my eyes,
tears continue to fall,
as constant reminders of why I hate good byes.

I try not to think so pessimistically,
I try to think that it could be for the best,
but I cant help but think so negatively

I fear when I leave he will move on and leave me behind,
I only hope he won't forget me so easily,
instead keep me in mind.

I fear without Bo in my life and in my heart, my love for mysteries will
consume me,
resulting in living in nothingness, resulting to insanity.

I'm already scared and I ve yet to leave the life I ve made here,
I dread thinking of the future and
now I realize that loneliness is accompanying this stationary fear.

I feel like the world is closing in on me where only darkness fills the air,
Bo is the light that is dimming oh so quickly,
leaving me alone again which is more than my heart can bare.

As I wake up from my horrible imagination,
I still feel like Im struggling in the hopeless darkness,
resulting in practical asphyxiation

I never realized how attached I ve become to my atmosphere,
so I continue to cry,
each falling drop of water contains a memory for each day, from each year.

As I put my final thoughts to bed,
I try to change my mind and
remember all the great times instead.

As I wipe the fallen tears,
I realize I should stand strong,
because Im Shirley Holmes-a Holmes that perseveres.